Days of Signifigance…

Everyone in this world has their own days that might not mean anything to someone else but to them that day is just as important as Christmas is to some people. These days symbolize something that happened to us on that day that we will never forget and like to keep the memory of that alive. So, on that day every year we have our little rituals or we just think about that time way back when we use to be happy. I recently just had one of these days that I will always remember. The day is significant for me because it’s a time that I wish I could go back to constantly. Even if I couldn’t change anything it’d be just to relive it over and over again. So, what do I do on this day? I do the only thing that I can think of doing at this point in my life. I go out and have a nice meal at a restaurant that I haven’t been to in a while and then I go out and get completely wasted. On this day I do not care what happens to me at all and I know it’s horrible that I think that way but we all have those days. I myself have many of these days that I remember every year.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you every day that I have in my memory and go out and do different things for. To be honest you’d have to get to know me and be around me on one of those days to even hear the story because unless I completely like you as a friend and you want to hear them you probably never will. I do not know what others do for their days or what they even remember them for. I can state the obvious ones like the day someone dies that impacts them. It could be the day they graduate high school or college and they accomplished something significant in their lives. It could be the day they found the love of their life and are finally happy. That’s basically an anniversary but whatever it doesn’t matter. The point is that everyone has these days and we do not share the details of these days with anyone that we do not trust to keep them secret so that everyone does not know of them and try to stop us from remembering these days. I believe that we remember these days out of trying to cope or so we never forget that we did something or made a huge mistake that we’ll never make again. It’s a learning experience and we have to remind ourselves and either beat ourselves up over it or grow from it and continue looking for happiness in this world.
I will tell you about one of my days because I’m sure you can guess why I do what I do when you know what day it is anyway. The date that I’ll always remember is the sixteenth of November two thousand and five. Yeah you probably guessed that it was the day that my ex and I started to date officially. To give you a little background on the number sixteen for me. Well, it’s my birthday date in September and it’s also my best friend’s birthday date in April. It is also the persons birthday in June I believe or July that introduced my ex and I. There are so many different things this number means to me and really I’m not going to get into it because I’ll sound crazy for even thinking about it. It’s like that movie “The Number 23” it’s everywhere in my life and it won’t leave me alone. So, on the sixteenth of every month really I either get drunk or I sit around remembering all the good times I use to have back then and that for an entire year that day was always special to me. In the month of November though I do a little something more extreme and it usually ends up with me crying on someone’s shoulder and me eventually blacking out. I use to try and call my ex on this day and pretty much every sixteenth because I’d be drunk off my ass and would have the courage to actually call her, but when I’m sober I know it’s best to just leave her alone. Well this past November sixteenth was no different, I went out and ate with two friends and lost my phone because I got too drunk and left it in the taxi on the way to the bar. Then at the bar I sang sad songs for karaoke and drank myself into a mess. I ended up in the smoke pit on base talking and then it happens, which to tell you the truth I haven’t been able to cry no matter how much I want to when I get to thinking about what use to make me cry. Yet, this night was different with being drunk and having someone who understands next to me to comfort me and let me cry on her shoulder the tears just keep flowing and flowing. It actually hurt like it use to but, this time it felt good to get it all out. Even though I was making an ass out of myself in public but I didn’t care at all. Not like they would understand anyway.
So these days that are in our lives and I wouldn’t say haunt us but they will always be there and on that day you’ll always remember the good times and the bad times. Most of mine are bad times to remind me to never be like that again and lose someone you love over the same mistakes ever again. I do have my good ones, everyone has their birthday every year to remember and that always makes people happy unless of course you’re getting old and that bothers you. Not all the days that we make significant in our lives start off bad they all usually start off good like mine did. I started dating a girl that I eventually fell madly in love with. Not until we broke up did it become a day that represented something bad that I did in my life. Well, losing her was the bad thing and it being my fault. The only one that I can think of that starts out bad is when someone dies or something obviously bad happens. Yet these days aren’t the same as what I described mine are. I would be celebrating someone who has died life and not in a bad way. So, that’s about all I have on this subject I just wanted to write an article about these days and get my thoughts out on paper. Well until next time, later kiddies.

 

~Hulk’z0r